Full of booze and feeling a little better, I start again towards this camp that Follows whatever wants me to go to. We wander through a bunch of standing water that he informs me is full of bear traps. Really dude? I still get to blindly lead the way to the place I’ve never been and the path is full of bear traps? REALLY?

We finally make to camp, where I head into a cave and find a guy wrapped in bandages, cleaning a never-ending pile of .45 pistols. His name, it turns out is Joshua Graham, aka that guy I wasn’t supposed to mention to anyone. He is ALSO the Burned Man or whatever. So okay, the two guys I wasn’t supposed to mention is actually just one guy and everyone just knows him because here is hanging out?

I try not to let him see how upset and annoyed I am when I start talking to him.

I tell him what happened to my caravan, and he says he can get me a map to let me get back home. Frankly I don’t know why I need a map. As long as there’s booze, I might as well just be a goddamn drifter. Oh but all my cool stuff. Sure, there’s that, but there’s probably more cool stuff I could find, and for all I know, I had even COOLER stuff back wherever I lived before Benny shot me in the head. I might’ve had THE COOLEST stuff then. Can someone give me a map to get back there?

I shrug and agree to help dude here, because I have just really nothing else to do. He gives me a few places to go and find things for his buddy Daniel who is at a completely different camp. Oh, and I can take Follows Chalk with me! Fucking hurray.

Our first stop is a wrecked school bus to find a compass. Guys, I have a compass on my Pip Boy. I have one, right here. Whatever. I find it, and a whooooole bunch of lunch boxes. OH YES. SOMEONE IS MAKING CARAVAN LUNCHES LATER. (The someone is me.)

Follows-My Ass is really excited to be going out and exploring all this stuff, but dude is starting to annoy me.

SAY COMPASS CORRECTLY. I WILL FORGIVE IT THE FIRST TIME. BUT I HAVE NOW CORRECTED YOU SEVERAL TIMES. SAY IT RIGHT.

Next we go to an old fishing lodge to get something that I don’t remember because oh my god yes this place has booze. I clean out their old fridge, old gun cabinet, old anything that had liqour in it. PRAISE THE MAKER(of booze) THERE IS BOOZE TO BE HAD HERE.

Finally we go to some old market to get some lunch boxes even though I have a bunch of lunch boxes already. I guess this guy needs very specific ones? Whatever, I pick them all up quickly and then start stacking the large number of boxes sitting around, in an attempt to build a fort. After I get a shitty box stack, I fill the fort with old teddy bears and pat myself on the back for a job well done.

I am then excited to find that store has ALL THE INGREDIENTS for my Caravan Lunches! Fuck yes! Cram, Insta-Mash, Pork and Beans, fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes.

Not really giving a fuck about getting this stuff to the guy who wanted it right away, I instead head right for a campfire. I gotta cook some lunches, bitches.

At the campfire though, I suddenly am greeted with a new recipe.

Wasteland Tequila.

heh…heheheh….hahahhahahah…

hahahahahhahahhaaaaa

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAAA!!