Hold Me Closer, Tiny Deathclaw

I flipped through my pimp boy at all the tasks the weird floaty brain scientist things had given me to help them fight the other scientist guy. None of them seemed to jump out at me as something I wanted to do right away. What did see was the task of getting modules for all the cool robots that are apparently around my new living quarters. Yes. This is IMPORTANT. If I have to stay here, it needs to be in comfort. And for it to be in comfort, I need that toaster to work properly.

I head outside finally. It seems relatively quiet for the moment, but haha, here comes a crazy looking fucker shooting at me. Awesome. I kill him and check out what he’s carrying. He’s got these freaky looking goggles that I think are kinda rad looking but they make me stupider or something and I take enough of a INT hit from being drunk constantly already so I pass on ’em.

I find the first few modules in some buildings while fighting these weirdos around here and some robo-scorpions and and then find a door into a large building so I head inside as another module is supposed to be in there.

Inside the large building are several houses and in the middle is a water fountain. I pick a bunch of bottle caps out of the fountain, wondering to myself why people who didn’t use caps as money were treating caps as money.

I head into the house that has the module I’m looking for and am slightly weirded out by the piles of electronics in it. I go back outside and decide to see what’s in a different house. Inside are a bunch of teddy bears posed and cameras sitting around and fuckton of Mentats which I love but goddamn this is weird and I’m kinda thinking fuck these houses and I’ll just get on with my life.

I decide to try one more though. I walk inside and turn to my right and I swear I could hear angels singing because there in all its glory was a FULL BAR. Oh my god fuck that apartment I want to move in here! I rush over it to it, practically weeping with joy. The taps don’t seem to work, but oh god there is booze everywhere behind it. Wine, beer…vodka, scotch…and WHISKEY. SWEET WHISKEY LET ME HOLD YOU.

The glorious bounty of booze I found in that house gave me the strength and hope I needed to check out the rest of them but alas none of the others contained anything even as close to as wonderful as that. One house had a basement with a locked door, which I picked open. When something is locked, opening it usually leads to something awesome or something horrifying and unsettling so it’s always this gamble. This was an especially high gamble as the lock was extra hard and I needed to read a magazine quick to figure out how I do it…

And then naturally, when I got down there, I wished I hadn’t as it was all just empty cages of blood and horror and what the fuck happened down here. I drink more booze and head back upstairs and outside.

I wander around this weird large building for a little longer, trying to find anything I may have missed when I see a small shack behind one of houses. Huh, it kinda looks like a doghouse. I walk over to it and out of it comes a tiny deathclaw! Oh my gosh! It’s kinda cute eve-OH GOD IT’S HITTING ME. OH FUCK THAT HURT. THAT HURT A LOT.


I run away muttering “what the fuck what the fuck” to myself while I stimpak up and flick through my guns. I grab the All-American, hit some Psycho, some Jet, a few other chems…what’s one more addiction after all, I’m already back to my old alcoholism habit. I start pumping rounds into this surprisingly durable little fuck until he finally dies.

What the shit was that about.

I glance around see a whole row of xander root which I pick up but sigh that there’s no broc flower because I could sooo make a bunch of stimpaks with all the empty syringes I’ve been picking up too. And then I turn and see, haha! An empty whiskey bottle! Sweet, gonna make Wasteland Tequila.

Oh wait, what’s near that bottle? A whole row of broc flower! I guess that’s pretty cool too!

I leave this building, giving it the finger on the way out and head back to my new living space. A bunch of my stuff is working now and my light switches are hitting on me, I think. It’s kind of uncomfortable. I have the auto-doc cure all my addictions, which he does for free. And he doesn’t even scold me or tell me not to come back with a bunch more tomorrow, because that is pretty much guaranteed to happen. I love you Auto-Doc.

Finally I plop down on my bed and sleep for several hours.

I’ll do stuff those guys actually wanted me to do tomorrow.

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