Awww Sneak Sneak Motherfuckers!

I have most of the modules I need, but I find that I am missing the one for the tiny securitron-looking robot so I head out to get it. I approach a building and think it must be inside, but instead discover it sitting in the back of a truck. Whatever. I grab it and make my way back to my temporary home. I finally have all the uh…personalities installed in things, but it’s honestly a little unsettling. Some of them seem nice enough of sure, but I would say more than the acceptable amount seem to be saying overtly sexual things to me and frankly I’m a little worried about getting violated while I sleep. This garden thing keeps talking about how much seed it has and the light switches are being just weird and and goddamn, I need a drink.

I down one of my homemade tequilas and check the time. It’s mid-afternoon, which means it’ll be dark by the time I got much of anywhere and wandering out there in the dark is kind of annoying…I buy some primer and powder from the store thing, and sit down at the reloading bench. I need more .308 ammo for my hunting rifle.

I go and talk to the little robot, Mugsy who is super excited about coffee mugs. I give him the one I accidentally picked up earlier and he flips out, but also turns it into three empty syringes via some sort of robot sorcery. I go fill them with drugs to make a few stimpaks. That was pretty nice I guess, but he seems to be MOBILE and therefore the most likely to get all HANDSY when I go to sleep. The thought of my oncoming unsafe slumber consumes my every thought. Well not for that long.

I check the time again and it’s only like 4 in the afternoon still. Goddammit. I place a piece of tape over my bottom (this is an old trick I remember, if it’s been moved when I wake up, well then I’ll know!).

I go to sleep for 16 hours and head out early the next day to get started on the first of whatever it was those robots wanted me to get.

I head to the X-13 facility and inside find some sweet gloves, some sweet boots, and a sweet chest plate! The three pieces someone turn into one sweet stealth suit! I put it on and head down to the testing area to try it out.

As I’m walking around in this suit, I hear it suddenly start talking to me. I crouch and it reminds me that my Pimp-Boy (it still calls it a Pip-Boy) light is on. Huh. And then it…then it asks me if I like it. Oh jesus. Look, clothing. I have enough stuff in my house that is creepin’ on me, I don’t need this from you too okay?

But yes, I do like you.

Yes I’ll sleep in you.

Yes, the light switch is gonna watch even though I don’t want it to.

Yes I love you more than the light switch now can we please just get on with this test?

Inside the testing area, I’m instructed to steal some documents from a safe without getting detected by the robots inside. I start the test and open a door. I scurry around a bunch of robots, but I am the stealthiest goddamn drunk and I make it to the safe pretty easily. Soon as I grab the thing out of it though, I get told that 1. My reward is in the reward safe! Awesome! 2. Robot scorpions are attacking. Fuck!

I kill all the scorpions and desperately find my way back to the reward safe. PLEASE BE GOOD SHIT PLEASE BE GOOD SHIT.

10 energy cells and a La Fantoma?

…the fuck is this shit? God fucking dammit!

I shoot my gun at whatever is nearby and head up some stairs to see if I can find something else to make this whole trip worthwhile. ┬áThere’s a few nuka-colas and some chem sets that I use to make a bunch of psycho, and mentats and shit.

Then I find some info some terminals. One guy was making something “Battle Brew” and although I usually stick to hard liquors or things that Cass makes with a fission battery, the name caught my eye and I wanted it. I read more terminals and found it was stowed in the X-12 storage room.

I had my prize in mind and I left to go retrieve.

As soon as I exited the building though, I was greeted by three roboscorpions. Goddammit dude, more of these things? Learn a new trick! I backed away from them and the building and ended up backing right into a pack of five Nightstalkers. They began attacking the scorpions and it was a big fuckfest of growling and lasers until everything but me was dead.

I hurried to building X-12 only to find that a force field kept me from entering more than one room of it. MOTHERFUCKER!


I made a note to get the force field disrupting shit NEXT and headed back to my creepy apartment to get drunk and fall asleep in my talking clothes.


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