FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I MEAN
Are you fucking kidding me?
Let’s do a little fucking recap here, okay? I get hit in the head, dragged to who fucking knows where. An old shithead puts a bomb collar on me and tells me I need to find three other people. I wander all the fuck over and find the three other people and gather them at the fountain. THEN HE SAYS, take each person to a different spot. Okay. Whatever. We all go to different spots, and I trigger the event to break into the Casino. Inside the casino, conveniently gathered before me again are the other three people. I get hit in the head, AGAIN, and when I wake up they are gone. And now.
Now what does old guy tell me to do?
GO FIND THEM AGAIN.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
And he wants me to…kill them. Wait, kill them? What about our collars?
They won’t work inside the hotel? If we’re on different floors?
BUT THE RADIOS WILL STILL KILL ME YEAH?
OKAY YEAH
JUST UPDATING MY LIST OF WHAT WILL KILL ME. ASSHOLE.
Fine. Fine. Fine. Whatever.
I’m gonna go find that mute chick first since she was like…moderately tolerable. And then I probably won’t kill you. Because I’m sick of doing things for this fuckhead. Off I go.
Christin..e? a? i? Whatever. She’s up in the Suites so I head up there, annoyed and tired. And then oh good, here we go with the radios again. I really don’t know where in my daily life I have ever encountered this many radios before but this place seems to be just fucking littered with them. There’s also some holograms of a chick, Vera Keyes all over. Huh, pretty lady holograOH GOD THAT ONE SEEMS ANGRY AT ME RUUUUUUUUUN. After far too much meandering and general being lostness, I find my way into a hotel suite, containing the mute chick.
Hey Mute Chick, I’m here to do something or something, I don’t know. But let’s get going oka-
WHOA
WHAT
Did you just…you just started talking? SONOFABITCH. I liked you quiet.
I guess at least we don’t have to play charades now. I was getting sick of you pointing to yourself, then to me, then to your collar, then drawing a circle in the air, then a figure eight, then pointing back at me.
You. Want uh…ME. To your collar? Into a circle? Eight times? Me? I don’t get it.
We talked for a bit, I don’t really remember what about. We were in Vera’s suite though and I found alllll kinds of whiskey in there. Fuck yes. I also found her dress, which I then put on, thinking it might let me sneak past the holograms easier. I bid Christineiaywhatever goodbye and head out into the hallways again.
I see a hologram.
Okay, let’s try this dress thing out.
(why did I think this would work?)
I slooowly approach the hologram. It seems to have detected me, but is still blue. I get closer, still blue, closer still…cloooooooser
Suddenly the hologram turns RED, there’s a loud BRRRNT noise and OH GOD OH FUCK OH HOLY FUCK LASERS OUT OF THE EYES FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK RUN RUN RUNF UCK FUCK FUCKING OH FUCK OH GOD FUCKKKKING FUUUUUUCK
I make it to a corner, where I sit and catch my breath for the next hour, periodically sobbing quietly, and sipping on my whiskey between bites of these snack cakes.
I finally work up the courage to move again and make it back to the lobby. And shitty Mcgee has more news for me.
Some of the fucking GHOST PEOPLE from outside have now gotten into the casino.
Are you fuc-
I go through how much goddamn trouble to break us in here? And these brainless assholes just SMASH they’re way in? They just SMASH IN HERE?
YOU INCOMPETENT WORTHLESS FUCK.
I can’t even
I feel like just murdering you, would be far more effective and efficient than you deserve. Your death needs to be slow, and agonizing, and INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING.
YOU GODDAMN DUMBASS.
I want to drag you back to the Wasteland and take you to my house and make you just rearrange things for a while. No put everything in this room, no put it all back in different room again, no no no, it’s all back in the same room again, could you put it all in these rooms now?
There’s a slave collar on you! Don’t get too close to any ROBOT DOGS. THEY MAKE IT EXPLODE. Sorry! Couldn’t fix that little bug!
ALSO
I HAVE A ROBOT DOG.
HE MIGHT LIKE TO FOLLOW YOU AROUND
ISN’T THAT ANNOYING
YES IT IS.