Author Archives: Jordyn

I spent most of the day on Friday drinking whiskey and recruiting people/things to be prostitutes for the Atomic Wrangler. I felt drunk and helpful. Last night, I helped another prostitute get out of her job and helped two chem … Continue reading →

My new favorite game is to go into the casinos, jump on one of them there gambling tables and then play “The Floor is Lava.” I can’t imagine a drunk crazy chick with bright blue hair in combat armor, with … Continue reading →

Dear Brotherhood of Steel People Who Asked Me to Do that Dumb Thing, Fuck you. Fuck you a million times. Next time you lose a fucking gun, just take one of your other guns in the giant pile there and … Continue reading →

This Caravan game shit is fucking weird man. But apparently quite popular. As I approached Primm, walking there from Goodsprings, injecting stimpaks directly into my left foot because you ain’t finding insoles for your high arches in the Wasteland motherfucker, … Continue reading →

I’m at a campfire. I’m super excited because I am going to make me a Caravan Lunch. Fuck yeah. Cram, Instamash, Pork N Beans, all shoved in a lunchbox and stirred up with some Radaway. I practically want to make … Continue reading →

I go into a house in a Novac. And a lady is in her kitchen, with a broom. FUCKING SWEEPING. Lady. Sweeping is like STEP LAST of cleaning your house. You should pick up all the large pieces of debris … Continue reading →

Why do I love pretending like I took one too many blows to the head when I’m having conversations with people? It’s like I’m roleplaying an Alzheimer’s patient. I just kept asking this guy in the Dinosaur’s Mouth who he … Continue reading →

I’m addicted to beer. :/

Near Sloan, I wanted to go check out the piles and piles of Deathclaws nearby. I climbed some cliffs and walked over and oh shit the Deathclaws saw me. And then one chased me back to camp and killed a … Continue reading →