It Wasn’t THAT Special.

I was bored the other day so I headed back to Nipton, intending to travel south and explore down there. Before I did though, I decided to stop in at that shop and check on Joe Cripple Powder Ganger who doesn’t seem to give a shit about anything and is remaining remarkably spry and filled out for a dude who has been sitting in a chair with no food or water for some time.

I asked him what was up and he yelled at me, of course. I told him I needed to go, but I didn’t really. Instead I picked up all the empty bottles, tin cans, old plates, burned up books, metal cooking pots, and general trash around the store and piled it all up around his feet.

THERE YA GO BUDDY!

NICE AND COZY!

After that I decided to go Deathclaw hunting across the river for a while. Rex is overly enthusiastic about it and likes to run into a horde of them and get himself killed immediately. Veronica likes to get stuck on rocks.

I left with several a Deathclaw Hand and Egg and decided I would go see what was up at the Thorn. I had been there once before, tried a fight with some Mantises. I killed them all super fast, but as I jumped up and down shouting “LOVE ME! PRAISE ME! I AM YOUR GOD!” suddenly the guards turned hostile and I had to cheeze it like mad, yo.

So I went back and asked Red Lucy what was up, she said Hello Stranger and I said, No, I’m the person who’s been inside the Lucky 38, maybe you’ve heard of me? She wanted me to go get some eggs of some creatures so she can raise them to murder each other. I was down with this, but she asked me to get goddamn Mantis eggs first and THEN MAYBE she would ask me to do something harder. Hey lady, I have a like a full dozen Deathclaw eggs just ON ME right now. You sure you want to waste my time with Mantis eggs? You do? Well goddammit.

I go get her stupid eggs and come back. What now. Radscorpions? Ugh fine whatever. I get those eggs and go back to her. HERE YOU GO IT WAS SUPER EASY. Now what? Fire Geckos? Oh come onnnnnn.

TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE.

Finally she wants Deathclaw eggs! Woohoo! Oh, I should go to the quarry or Death Wind Cave for them you say? Death Wind Cave it is.

In this cave is the giant LEGENDARY Deathclaw. And he went down like a little bitch.

Thanks for the eggs motherfuckerrrrrr.

I take her the eggs back and she’s like Oh that is sooooo goooood. I got something special for you!

(It was her vagina).

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