Open Your Books to Page SIT THE FUCK DOWN

I headed up north to see the Boomers yesterday, and after like two days of doing little favors for them, I am IDOLIZED there.

The NCR though? Now I’m “Unpredictable.” Fuck you too NCR. I’m not unpredictable! It is easy to predict that if you all start trying to shoot at me, I am going to shoot you back. That is very fucking predictable.

I have killed huge deathclaws for you. Gathered medical supplies, healed wounded soldiers, brought back dog tags and legion ears, killed Fiends, disarmed a bomb on your fucking monorail, and helped fight off all the legion at Nelson. And you’re like, oh we don’t know if we like because you also seem to have a fucking spine when we are cocks to you. Well guess what I don’t like you either and the things neatly lined up on your shelves shall pay.

The Boomers? They fucking LOOOOOVE me. What did I even have to do for that? I killed a few ants, no problem. I did some going back and forth to get two lovebirds hooked up. I found a little girl’s goddamn teddy bear. I got fame just for talking to those kids and being all super charismatic.

I didn’t have to…take on an entire enemy camp for them. I was just fucking helpful and they were like Ooooooh man you are the best!

So fuck you NCR I am not helping with anything, I am moving into the barracks here and never leaving.

Oh also, I was in that schoolhouse with boomer kids at like 11 pm on a Tuesday and the teacher was nowhere to be found. What the fuck. I tried to substitute teach, but the kids wouldn’t even stay in their seats and shut up for like 10 fucking seconds so I jumped on the teacher’s desk, kicked everything off it, threw all the books off the shelves, and then left. PUBLIC EDUCATION IS BROKEN.