Let me make one thing clear, real quick. At this point of this series of quests, I really have no idea why I keep going. I hate Desmond, I hate these tribals, Nadine is okay, but who cares. I can’t even remember why Desmond sent me here in the first place.
Oh yeah, figure out why the Tribals are attacking him. Why do I care? I don’t think I do. Maybe a part of me is secretly hoping there will be a giant gun somewhere to introduce to all my gun friends back in Megaton. There won’t be. Maybe I’m hoping I will find more people who deserve death. That…that will happen.
Nadine tells me that the head tribal guy goes to pray at some secret place or something, so I go tell this to Desmond. I want to tell him that he can do the rest of this shit himself and just shoot me a Pip-Boy Message when you need someone shot and when you’re done so I can shoot you.
No, instead he wants ME to follow the tribal guy. Desmond is the most unappreciative asshole ever. Every thing I do for him he just doesn’t care, it’s aaaaaaaaalllllll about Desmond’s problems.
In some cave, this tribal guy is praying to holographic brain. Somehow the brain sees me and wants me to come have a chitty chat with it. Oh this oughta be good, you want a favor too don’t you? The Brain tells me that Desmond is “restricting his broadcast signal” and I should destroy the device he’s using so he can broadcast farther. Yeah, I really want that. I hate Desmond sure, but you are a holographic brain telling me you would like to BROADCAST TO PEOPLE. I do not trust you!
I make some excuse about needing to leave like “Oh I just thought of something.” I head back to Desmond to tell him what I found and ask him if he knows what’s up with there being a holographic brain in a cave in the middle of fucking nowhere.
He tells, with some fucking bitchy cheerios-pissed-in attitude, that the brain is Professor Calvert, of the Calvert family that Desmond hates and who hate him back. He says this like I should already know. No, Desmond, I don’t get Holographic Brains And Their Stupid Grudges Weekly.
Desmond asks me to place a jammer on the big ferris wheel in town. I try to talk my way out of it. Uuuuh I’m scared of heights. He tells me I don’t need to go on it, just put something on the bottom and run the wheel til it’s on top. Dammit. Uuuuh, I’m scared of wheels? I’m uuuum, scared of you not doing this your fucking self? I don’t know, none of these seem to work, so off with the jammer I go.
As I approach the wheel, there is a goddamn VOICE IN MY HEAD. It’s that fucking brain! He’s telling me to the destroy the jammer! He wants to send thoughts into people’s heads! Come on! I super hate Brain right now, because I do not like voices in my fucking head. This jammer? It’s going to the top of that fucking wheel! Fuck you BRAIN!
Of course, like a million tribals attack me afterwards. I kill them all and steal their unsubstantial amount of clothing.
Then I return to Desmond with renewed drive, renewed purpose! Find out where that brain actually is…and then MURDER IT. AND MURDER DESMOND. AND MURDER ALL THE TRIBALS.
BURN THE WHOLE CITY TO THE GROUND.
(Except moonshine lady)